WTF, Planner Pod People

I spent over an hour on Amazon looking for a simple, pretty 2022 planner with a basic monthly/weekly view sans advice on how to live my life, and I have *thoughts* to express.

After seeing what is on offer targeted towards women vs. men, I am genuinely astounded. How did I never notice this happy horseshit before? I don’t know whether to howl with laughter, or just buy myself an ugly-ass man-planner and call it a year. (hahahahaha, I slay myself – yes, I am drinking wine, why do you ask?)

I’m a binary female, and I like pretty, girly things sometimes. I enjoy flowers, and using different colored gel pens to document my appointments and weekly tasks. In short, I’d like to be able to essentially create a paper copy of our household Google Calendar in a pleasing format that I can customize as I see fit. Nothing fancy. I want somebody else to tell me what day it is (screw that blank date bullshit). I need just enough of an organizer so if the power goes off, I don’t miss anything important like Mom’s birthday or paying the mortgage. 

In particular, I don’t care for any “guidance” or imperatives exhorting me to be a freaking Stepford Wife. I need the calendar, and I need to be able to write comfortably and legibly in it. Seems like a simple ask, right? Not hardly, as it turns out.

Most planners on offer that are targeted at women are waaaaay over-engineered for the likes of me. My calendar is supposed to assist me, not stress me out even further.

Here is what I DO want:

  • Strong spiral backing
  • Hardcover
  • A list of annual US holidays
  • An annual view of months like from a checkbook register
  • A tabbed monthly view with lined daily boxes at least 2×2 inch in size
  • A lined weekly view that does not assume that life scrunches down to 25% of normal activity on Saturday and Sunday and allocates itsy bitsy spaces to those days – working women do most of our personal work on the damn weekend, hellooooo!

Here is what I DO NOT want:

  • 100 random cutesy stickers
  • A list of suggested weekly, monthly, or annual goals focused on my personal appearance and ability to fulfill 12 different roles for 50 different people I probably give zero shits about
  • A daily affirmation crapshoot written by people who have never, ever, ever tried to be a mature working woman juggling obligations to multiple generations
  • An insulting assumption that I am incapable of managing my household budget with just a calendar and a spreadsheet
  • An implicit obligation to actually think further ahead in my life than a month at a time – get real, okay?

So what did I do? Well, I took a chance on one that *might* meet most of my requirements, and ordered it. It came today, and it’s functionally solid albeit a tad flimsy, and it’s pretty enough. It even comes with a plastic sleeve over the cover that I can tart up as I see fit. 

I can work with this!

There, that’s much better!

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