Every now and then, I forget my lack of “Girling” skills, lose my mind, and buy a bottle of deep red frosted nail polish. Gorgeously evil dark red, nearly burgundy. You know, the shade of nail polish that surely The Evil Queen wore in Snow White.
Usually I do this while DMc is out of town, so he doesn’t see the unfortunate results. Travel is down for him due to budget cuts, though, and the holidays are making me a tad itchy, and there was this coupon for Sally Hansen, soooo…ya know.
On Evil Queen Red Sunday, DMc was napping while I tried to give myself a manicure. He woke up, walked into the kitchen, and saw my hands before I’d had a chance to clean up with acetone and pointy Q-tips.
DMc: *urgently patting down my abdominal area*
TMc: What are you doing?
DMc: Checking to see if you got the bleeding stopped after you gave yourself an appendectomy with your fingers!
TMc: Fucker.
Fast forward several days and I have remembered why dark nail polish sucks. The tips wear and chip if you so much as wash your hands thoroughly. Dammit!
So, still under the mistaken impression that I can Girl, I try a color very like Old Hollywood Gold Lame. Turns out that glittery nail polish will glom onto your cuticles in a way that looks like you did something seriously profane to a pixie. Not only that, but it is aggravatingly harder to wipe up than the Evil Queen Dark Red. Gaaaah!
This is why I have a drawer full of nail polish colors and only use clear on my fingers. *sigh*